Dating Without Sex And The Challenges
It is no more news that today most single men including many brothers in church want to have sex with the lady they will want to get married to before they really get married to them and some ladies too will insist that they must have a taste of what is to come before they say, ‘Yes, I do!’ Yes, some ladies actually ask for it or initiate the move. Some will do so to ascertain the man’s true sexual health condition and his ability, while others do so to own the man so he doesn’t go looking for it elsewhere.
In this post, all I want to do is to encourage all the single ladies out there and the single brothers. As the case may be, whosoever that is going through this tough testing time of looking at the man or lady that seems to be your one lucky chance to getting married on time slip through your fingers just because you have said that you are not going to give in to sex before marriage and then he walks away peacefully and goes to marry another lady who gives him what he wants.
Now they are married and you’re not. Perhaps, this may not even be your first experience of sort. So now you’re downcast, thinking to yourself how this “no-sex-thing” before marriage has helped you all along. You are the focal person of this post. Hear me out.
All that glitters is not gold. They may have seemed like it, but they weren’t it.
Any man or lady that walks away from you because you didn’t agree to having premarital sex with him or her cannot be the right man or right woman for you. And I say this with every confidence. He may have seemed like it, but he wasn’t it. God was really saving you from future troubles bigger than you know.
It pays to be sexually pure. You may suffer temporarily for it, but know that the rewards of righteousness far outweighs the seasonal pleasures of sin. Be encouraged. Yours is coming.
Allow me to say, though, that some single ladies are not really being dumped just because they didn’t agree to have sex before marriage. That may be part of it. Not all of it. Did you hear me?
The first reason why he dumped you is because you are ‘dumpable’ It seemed he was doing you a favor all along and now he takes his favor away be yourself.
Relationship It shouldn’t be so. Make yourself a great quality that he can’t afford to lose. I would love it to be that any man that finally gets the chance to date you and then marries you, will forever remain grateful that you said “Yes” to him.
And one of the ways to do that is to become a shinning light now. Add real value to yourself everyday. Be financially relevant. Be emotionally sound. Be intellectually stimulating, and maintain a spiritual glow that cannot be undermined in any way.
This means that you must also appear sharp and very descent in dressing and communication. Build your confidence. Mind yourself now and your own business. Let him see you as a blessing, not a burden. Do not panic when you see evil doers prospering. Do not feel like you’re finished or that you’re so unfortunate when you see ladies who engage in indiscriminate sex before marriage getting married before you.
Trust in the Lord and keep your body undefiled. For surely, there is an end to your time of waiting. No matter how long you may have been waiting, there is a wedding date set for you in heaven. You must pray that as it is in heaven, so be it here on earth. That no power or mistake will stop it. For it is written, “And your expectation shall not be cut off.” Amen.
Don’t agree to play side chic to any married man because of any favors or because of money. Keep your body undefiled. If you had been doing it, today is a day of godly repentance. You can be chaste again. You can be sexually clean again. You deserve better.
Date responsibly. Do not jump into anything stupid just because you’re feeling so loved. Date with your head. Keep your emotions under a firm control. Determine the cause of your emotions. Direct your own feelings accordingly. Stop feeling sexually depraved or deprived. There will be plenty of time in the future to have a lot of it. Use the sexual energy now to build a life.
Give yourself to grooming. Remember, you can become undumpable. If the man is not really chasing so hard after you, then you are replaceable. Become irreplaceable and he will marry you not as a favor, but a blessing.
Tips on how to build a relationship without sex:
- Communicate your boundaries clearly and early on in the relationship.
- Be aware of your surroundings and avoid situations where you may be vulnerable.
- Trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to say no.
- Set your own pace and don’t feel pressured by others.
- Avoid excessive alcohol or drug use, as it can impair judgment and increase the risk of unwanted sexual experiences.
- Surround yourself with supportive friends who respect your choices and will have your back.
- Seek professional help or support if you have experienced any form of sexual trauma or assault.
10 things that can strengthen the bond In your relationship
1. Get to know each other: Spend time talking and asking each other questions to learn about your interests, hobbies, and values. Try to understand what makes the other person tick.
2. Go on dates: Plan activities and outings that you both enjoy, such as hiking, painting, cooking, or watching movies. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something that you both find enjoyable.
3. Show interest and support: Show that you care about their life, goals, and dreams. Listen actively and be there for them when they need support or encouragement.
4. Communicate effectively: Honest and open communication is a key factor in developing a strong relationship. Talk to your partner about anything and everything that’s important to you and encourage them to do the same
5. Build emotional intimacy: Develop a strong emotional connection and bond by being vulnerable and intimate with each other. Share your feelings, fears, and hopes.
6. Trust: Trust is essential in any relationship. Work to build and maintain mutual trust by being reliable and honest in your actions and words.
7. Quality Time: Make time for each other, even if it’s just a few minutes a day, and try to make it special by doing things together that you both enjoy.
8. Respect: Respect each other’s feelings, ideas and differences. Show appreciation for each other and acknowledge the value of your partner’s contributions.
9. Surprise and Delight: Surprise your partner with small gestures of affection, such as a thoughtful note, a surprise meal, or a small gift. These small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness will strengthen your bond.
10. Shared Interests: Find activities you both enjoy doing, and make it a part of your routine. This will help strengthen your bond and create a sense of connection between you.
11. Forgiveness and Understanding: No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Learn to forgive and understand each other when things don’t go as planned, and work together to find solutions to problems.
12. Intimacy: Intimacy is an important part of any healthy relationship. Make time for physical touch and affection, and find ways to connect emotionally as well.
Remember, building a relationship takes time, effort, and commitment. Sex is not the foundation of a healthy relationship, but rather an aspect that can enhance it if both partners are ready and willing. Focus on building a strong connection with your partner based on mutual respect, trust, and genuine interest in each other.