What its Means to Have a Mixed Feelings in a Relationship
Have you ever experienced contrasting emotions or ‘mixed feelings’ toward something, someone or some people before? Have you ever had a hard time making a decision because you had felt both positive and negative emotions toward the decision? Maybe you felt trapped, stuck, torn by two opposing forces?
If your answer is yes, what you have experienced is called ambivalence. It surely isn’t pleasant, but it’s an inevitable part of the human experience. It’s not uncommon for people to think things like:
“I have a great job opportunity, but I love my current job. It feels like, whatever I decide – to stay at my current job or to accept this new one – I’d regret it”.
“I love Mimi and she said she loves me too, but Mercy also said she loves me also, I’m also attracted to her I don’t know whether to quit Mimi and go for Mercy”
“I love my husband, but I get attracted to other people. What is happening? Do I really love him?”
“My children bring me so much joy, but they often make me crazy. I want to spend time with them, but I also want them to leave me alone.”
There is nothing weird about these kinds of thoughts. People are complex beings, and with that comes the complexity of their thinking and emotions. Although we would like to have a perfectly clear picture of what we want and how we feel at all times, because of this complexity, it is not always possible.
Mixed feelings when you are finding it difficult to different what you feel.
That is: you are in love with one person but still finding another person closer and attractive to your heart even though you are not in a relationship with him or her. In other words, mixed feelings can be in this form: if you can’t figure out whether you love him or you just like him.. You are just mixing like and love together or maybe you are not sure whether there’s love or there is no love in the relationship, mixed feelings can be in different forms.
Just know that all these are the basic meanings of mixed feelings to me.
How Can You Know That You Are Having Mixed Feelings in a Relationship?
1. The point at which you just can’t erase him or her from your memory even when you are into another relationship. Or a point you don’t know maybe he loves you or know but you are still not certain about quitting the relationship to start another.
2. The point at which you are getting more interest on him than just a normal friends that he/she use to be to you Before. when you are going too emotionally for him or her more than a friend and you are still not sure whether it’s love or not… you just Love kissing him/her, have nice time with him/her but you haven’t figured out the love.
How Can we Protect Ourselves From Having Mixed Feelings?
1. stop creating unnecessary familiarity with people you are not Dating.
2. Let there be clear difference between friendship and relationship…
3. Open up to your partner who you have as friends outside your relationship
4. Don’t hide what is going on between you and your friends with your partner… For example: my friend tried to kiss me today but I stop him. Don’t hide it, tell him/her. The moment you start opening up with your partner, unnecessary feelings will stop growing.
How Can Mix Feelings Affect Your Good Relationship?
- The moment you start falling in love with another person outside your relationship, you start acting funny in your own relationship and you won’t be sure of your own relationship again.
For Example:
1. Finding it hard to be with your partner like you use to.
2. Unable to do the usual things you normally do before in your relationship.
3. Unable to apologise because you believe you have other options.
4. Pride and unnecessary displays will come in you.
5 Lack of understanding and unable to bear little things for partner in your relationship.
Mixed Feelings has teared lots of relationships apart in our world today. In order to overcome these, you need to stay clear from people you don’t really date or don’t want to go into relationship with. Let your yes! be yes and no to be no!
Be smart enough to understand when you are about falling in love with others unjustly, withdraw and apologise to your partner if possible..
Good luck, stay safe and make others around you safe too.