This Is Why You Suffer Heartbreak

This Is Why You Suffer Heartbreak

This Is Why You Suffer Heartbreak

Many people do not understand what a friend is. They mistake people they know for their friends. This lack of clarity on the definition of the word friend has led to so many broken hearts because people expect the duties of a friend from people who are not their friends. When the inevitable disappointment comes, many people end up broken.

So, what is a friend? A friend is someone who knows you for what you truly are, not for what you project that you are, and irrespective of this, they love you. A friend is someone who is for you because of who you are. A friend has unconditional love for you. A friend is a confidante. A friend is just short of a soulmate.

An acquaintance, on the other hand, is someone you know casually. An acquaintance is not your friend even though they may be nice to you and are very polite.

A neighbour is someone who lives close to you. A neighbour often has to be nice, friendly and polite to you, because it can be rather a drag living close to someone that you have bad relations with. A neighbour is not your friend. A neighbour will likely treat another neighbour in much the same way that they treat you. You are not special to a neighbour.

A colleague is someone that you work with professionally or non-professionally. So, a co-worker is a colleague, and if you are a medical doctor, another medical doctor who may or may not work directly with you is also a colleague. Co-workers are not your friends. They are forced to inhabit the same environment as you because they need to make money. They are not there because they need or like to meet you. A co-worker is likely to be a rival for more of the limited money circulating in the business. For the boss’s attention. And for promotion. A colleague is definitely not your friend, even though they are not necessarily your enemy.

A classmate or schoolmate is someone you went to school with. You know them. Some of them could be your friends. But they are not automatically your friends because they went to school with you, and it is not fair to expect them to carry the duties of a friend.

There will be those with whom you have a common enemy. Very few things bring people together, like having a common enemy. The fact that you are close because of a common foe does not mean you are friends. Misery loves company. You are bound together by hatred. Once that enemy is removed as an obstacle or makes peace with one of the parties, the relationship will cease to exist in the form that brought you close. At best, you are comrades.

You may have common interests with other people. It may be shared interests in a political party, a religion, a pop star, an athlete or an athletic club, or a hobby. You may even go to conventions together. But as long as unconditional love for each other is not the glue that holds that relationship together, you are not friends. At best, they are your fellow enthusiasts or loyalists to a cause, not to each other.

Your friend is anyone who is unconditionally for you. The mistake many people make is thinking that those with whom they share common interests are their friends. No! They are your allies. Such friendships last only as long as the common interest exists.

When you understand these distinctions, your life becomes more predictable, more disciplined and more productive. Your emotions are more stable, and you have less heartbreak because you have learned to define relationships on a very granular level and have a compartment for all of the people in your lives. You know what to expect from each relationship.

written by: Reno Omokri