First of all what is red flag? It’s a cue, warning, or alert; a sign or signal that something is wrong.
With the little definition above I believed you have perfectly understands what red flag really means in a relationship?
how can you identify red flag in your relationship?
Red flag start when you start seeing strange behavior in your partner, that is not usual or common to him/her. When situations like this is happening in your relationship, just know that there is red flag in your relationship.
Examples of red flags:
- When your partner start causing break in transmissions (Poor communications). Sometimes for days he/she may not call you and when you called he/she usually ignored your calls even when you don’t have any misunderstanding in the relationship. I believed even if there is argument, your partner is not expected to ignore your calls. He/she is expected to hear you out no matter the level of anger.
- When your partner start keeping distance from you. Avoiding your calls and text, chat, etc. If he/she start nagging for no real reasons.
- When your partner start beating or start acting crazy because of the little misunderstanding you have or a simple mistake you have made, instead of correcting you it’s always beating upon beating.
- When your partner start seeing only the negative things in your life, when he/she stops being positive about you, if he/she keep thinking there’s nothing you can do perfectly again on your own without needing helps. Everything you are doing is always wrong to him/her and still not ready to correct you for things he/she is accusing you of doing wrong.
- When your partner start putting someone outside your relationship ahead of you. For example: A guy who has a girlfriend but keep another Lady outside the relationship who he called Bestie and he always put her ahead of the main girlfriend.
- When your advices stops making meaning or sense to him/her, when he/she stops seeking advices from you but preferred that of others outside the relationship than yours. If he/she makes you feel less important.
- When your partner is always attracted to only se× than the attention, affection and feelings he/she initially has for you, if there’s no se× no love and there’s no care for you.. If the only thing he/she appreciate or cares for is when you give him/her good se×, No any other way to help your life than the se×.
- When he/she is not ready to help you when you are facing some difficulties and challenges, such a person who always finds excuses or reasons not to help you.
- When jealous and greed is too much in the relationship. He/she is just too jealous even to the point he/she don’t want to see you with any opposite se× but he/she can keep his/her own friends and won’t want anyone stop him/her from keeping opposite se× as friends.
- When he/she is making you feel your relationship with him/her will have no future or positive end. he/she don’t make plans with you. You don’t even know where the relationship will end and whenever you asked about it he/she start nagging at you.
- When he/she is not proud of showcasing you to friends and family. Your relationship is secret, it’s only between you and him non of his friends or family knows about you, if you want to tell your friends he stops you and turn it to quarrel.
- When your partner start keeping secrets for you in the relationship. For example: if he acquired some properties like Land, House, etc. He doesn’t let you know talk of celebrating it with you, when he also traveled in or outside the country you may not be aware. He won’t let you know until he is back or when he is done with everything he is doing there. If it’s not what he has been doing from the beginning of the relationship, believe me it’s red flag.
- When he/she stops being romantic and stop making you feel happy in the relationship. You are always lonely no attention giving to you again like he/she use to.
- When he/she start seeing you as great burden. If he/she always avoid you and keep complaining that you are always disturbing him/her.
- When he/she stops being understanding and patience with you.
There are different types of Red flags in relationship/marriage, there are lots of red flag attitude that I may not have mentioned above but take your time to understand when your partner is changing his/her behavior towards you. The moment they start changing that’s when red flag start showing up in your relationship/marriage.
What can you do when your partner start showing you red flag.
Call him/her to order. Dear, I have been noticing some changes in you these days, you were not like this before when we started the relationship, what happened? what did I do wrong? this is not the way you are doing to me before, what did I do wrong? Tell me I will apologize and if he/she said nothing happened and he/she insist just tell him/her what he/she started doing wrong that he/she has not been doing before. Then be patient and see if there will be some good changes for what you corrected him/her for. Do the correction just once or twice and if there is no changes yet just know that someone might have been taking your place in his/her heart.
After those warnings, stop acting as if you once saw him/her acting strange again, forget about correcting him/her, just keep looking at him/her till he/she make up his/her mind or decided to stay or leave you forever. Don’t force anyone to stay in your life, don’t let love weak you to a point of crying and begging someone to stay in your life. Those who are meant for you will definitely stay forever and anyone who is not meant for you no matter how you keep him/her, he/she will still leave you, you can’t force people to stay in your life. anyone who finds you to be a good stuff will always find a way to stay and keep you in his/her life forever… don’t try to prove people wrong or impress them that you are a the best or a good stuff, let them know by themselves the stuff you are made of and if they don’t care to know let them be.
In conclusion
Red flag can come into anyone’s relationship at anytime. You are smart or dull doesn’t mean you can’t experience it, don’t think because you know his/her family, he/she can’t leave you again, always observe your relationship very well and plan for the best and the worse at all times so that when what you don’t plan for happens, you won’t be disappointed or surprised too much. Try to know it when things is going well with your relationship and when things is going wrong, pay attention to everything don’t let too much of love blindfold you.
Can you imagine a guy who said she was in a relationship with a guy who is posting another lady everytime on his timeline and never for once post her that everyone knows he is dating? He is always writing all the sweet and romantic words as comment and description on his uploads, he was telling you not to worry yourself that she is a common friend and you believe the trash too? You need to wise up girl, what kind of friendship is that?
Some can even go far blocking you from seeing it. By the way, if any of your friends can come across it and if she can have the courage to tell you what she saw because some may not want to say such a thing out not to be like intruding in your affairs and for it not to break your friendship too. You don’t have ignore it when friends have the courage to tell you. Well you may not believe it immediately because you trust him and you are in serious love with him, you may even be thinking your friend is the one lying or jealous of your relationship and she want to ruin it or thinking she doesn’t want you be with him. It’s normal to think otherwise but please always do your own findings and check whether what such friend said about him is true or it’s a lie before you conclude fast.
Trust, but don’t trust people too much because no one is made to be perfect, anyone can make mistake at anytime so stop letting love blind your eye so that your love story won’t end a story that will be so touching when you are narrating it to other.