13 Most likely Causes of Relationship Communication Probables
Communication is like the engine room of a good relationship. When the communication is poor the relationship will also be poor.
For some of us that is wishing to know how to overcome poor communication in their relationships, this is a good template to study and to know why it is the way it is because to every problem there is a root cause and the best way to deal with each problem is to find its root and cut it off. Failure to do so, you will have the problem reoccurring.
So if you are interested, read on.
1. Using harsh or abusive words.
The use of harsh and abusive words is one of the major things that can distrory good communication in any marriage and relationship. To have good communication in our relationship and marriage we must learn to gentle voice when correcting or talking our partners and we should avoid the use of words that will make them feel like we are abusing or insulting them, doing this will definitely reduce communication issues you might have be having in Your Relationship or Marriage.
2. Our up bringing.
A lot of people grew up not knowing how to express themselves. They naturally don’t know how to. Growing up, they technically were alone and by themselves always without friends or close family. They are only able to talk to themselves. All they would have loved to say to you they say it to themselves internally because they don’t want to be misunderstood or judged. Intentional effort can be made to help people like this if they are willing to learn.
3. Hiding feelings.
It’s good to be honest. Being honest about your feelings is the heart of good communication. It’s challenging to get a resolution or move forward with an issue if one of you isn’t being honest. Make a pact to be truthful with each other and deal with feelings together rather than sweeping them under the rug.
4. Lack of empathy.
When you don’t show to your partner how much you feel his or her pains it’s so easy to get cut off. The notion he or she will have is that this person didn’t value me. It’s better better I stop attaching myself to someone who doesn’t care about how I’m feeling. So if you want a good communication in your relationship you must have human feeling, the ability to have enough empathy for our partners and others.
5. Trust issues (insecurity)
These sets are struggling with trust issues, for some as a result of past betrayals. They don’t know who to trust or how to trust. Even in relationships, they are scared of being judged or betrayed therefore they keep things to themselves and avoid conversations that will make them spill their secrets. People that have trust issues keep the biggest secret and are suspicious a lot.
6. Inability to listen or poor listening skills.
There is a very big difference between hearing and listening. Communication is more about listening than speaking. It is the ability to listen that makes understanding easy which is the focus in any conversation: to be understood. Many people just want to talk but fail to listen.
Poor communication is seen when you are pulled towards wanting to be heard more than wanting to listen. This is the major cause of so many broken communication. Some of you already have an answer prepared before your partner is done expressing themselves. (We will look more at this when we discuss how to communicate).
7. Bottling up emotion.
Another cause of poor communication can be seen amongst people that bottle up their emotions. Being a peaceful person doesn’t mean you shouldn’t express how you feel about what your friend or partner is doing that you don’t agree with.
Bottling up emotion can make you pull away from people that you could have spoken to and be understood. Some times when emotions are bottled up, there comes a time when you either explode or you avoid such a person totally. When you finally explode it can have a bad effect on communication where harsh and careless words could be used.
8. Not being supportive.
Another reason communication could be going down in your relationship could be because you only care about what you care about and not what your partner cares about. So you have failed in the area of supporting them.
Trust me every individual has someone they talk to no matter how poor they communicate with you their partner. People are drawn quickly to people that support there dreams and vision, they initiate a conversation with them because those persons will listen attentively and support them. So check yourself if you have been failing in this area. (I might decide to talk on this alone someday).
9. Not knowing your partner love language.
This is not a new topic. Everyone, before you get into a relationship, ensures you know your love languages and when you enter any relationship ensure you know your partners love languages.
Love language in its simplest term is how people receive love. So maybe you are speaking a different love language other than that of your partner and that’s why you are struggling with communication. ( a huge topic on its own). Do research on this to know more.
10. Working love Based on assumption.
An assumption, as we know, is the worse form of knowledge. An assumption is to think someone feels a particular way while they don’t if only you asked. So the worse thing you can do is to assume that all is well when it is not. It can greatly affect your communication negatively. When you sense something, ask about it.
11. Too much screen time.
A lot of us prefer pressing our phone or watching movies more than we love spending time talking to each other. This is one of the major causes of poor communication in our world today.
You are on the bed with your wife, instead of talking to each other, both of you are pressing your phone talking to strangers at the other end of the phone. You are out on a date instead of focusing on talking to each other, you are pressing your phone, then what’s the point of meeting up? Your wife is making dinner instead of joining her and gisting, you prefer rewatching those movies you have watched like 7 times before. This is gonna do more harm to communication in your relationship.
12. Just not wanting to communicate with you.
Funny but true. Some don’t just want to talk, listen or understand you. This one is strange but it’s happening to some people. Some people in this category will never initiate a conversation with you. They always want to be at the receiving end making it a one-sided relationship.
13. Unrealistic expectations
It’s good you enter a relationship with expectations but they should be realistic. Some unrealistic forms of communication methods might not work for your relationship.
Wanting him/her to call you 5 times a day might not be realistic to your partner. Forcing them to do something’s that they are not used to can hurt communication if they fail to satisfy that expectation of yours. So it’s good to talk over and finds a working form of communication that can work at every stage of your relationship as long as both of you agree to it.
At times communication problems can occur in our relationships but if we can keep to these 13 things, communication problems will reduce in our relationship will drastically reduce.
Stay safe and make others around you safe too.