Having a relationship is one of the essential things in everyone’s life. That moment we felt we were mature enough to handle a relationship. Therefore we look for someone we love and who loves us back but no matter how we try not all relationships will work or not all relationships will lead to marriage no matter how we try to make it work. Some were meant to teach us lessons on how to be a better man or a better woman and some are just meant to walk through our lives without a impact.
No blame when your partner suddenly walk away from the relationship, that is how life is meant to be sometimes. Some will come into your life not to stay forever but only to be with you for a certain period. Some will build you and some will want to dismantle what someone else built in you. No matter how it’s pass no blame on who so ever crosses your path be it good or bad they are for a purpose, either a lesson or a blessing. “Don’t force anyone to love you, love only who loves you back truly.”
When the one you truly love suddenly walk away or breakup from you what will you do? well I will say don’t be discouraged or feel disappointed, don’t say you wouldn’t love anymore. Some are just meant to pass through your life like that without a impact.
No one plan for a breakup but when it happens what are you expected to do?
1. Believe that what ever you lost is not meant for you.
You might be thinking that he/she is the best for you but when they suddenly walk away from you, it’s expected of you to zero your mind against them and start thinking on way-out of the pains they might have cause you. You have to believe that they walk away from your life because they are not truly meant for or meant to be there for ever, what is meant to be yours will never leave you suddenly. Once you stop worrying yourself about things you have lost and don’t believe that anyone who left you is a great lost “no matter how great the person who left you is, there will always be someone better than they are” so no one happens to be a great lost. You can move on with your life without them.
Watch the YouTube videos that will stops you from worrying about the things you have lost.
DOWNLOAD (Assurance of love Mp3) a poem that will stops you from worrying about your past relationships.
2. Accept the fact you are single.
Embrace the grief if you ever want to move past it. Accept that fact you are single. “Accept things you can no longer change” and “change the things you can” You cannot change your ex’s feelings, behavior, or capacity for kindness or empathy. But you can change yourself. So keep doing what will make you move on with your life without him/her. Learn how to live your life without anyone to depend on for love or for anything else. Even when no one hurt you learn to be alone. Take for example, Your heart; is it not personal to you alone? Since your heart is working for you alone learn how to be alone. Most times the moment you are alone is when you can have time to think better on yourself. Loneliness don’t kill be yourself regardless of who is not willing to be there for you anymore.
3.Don’t start thinking of how to make friends with your ex.
Let those who don’t want you again go their ways be it close friends or once a good time love. You don’t need to force people to stay in your life. Life is too short to start wasting it on people who is not thinking about you any more.
- Don’t start telling friends to help you talk to him/her to accept you back. Its lower yourself esteem and make them believe you value them more than they deserve.
- Give way to people who will want your happiness again.
- Cry If you think it’s worth your tears. ( it’s not a crime to cry, tears from your eye makes you more stronger sometimes, some tears is to build you up again after a serious fall ) “But who worth your tears will never walk away from you” Remember that and put it at the back of your mind!
- Don’t go on social media and start discussing it with online friends you are only causing yourself more pains and making them believe they are so important to your life that is why you are making posts about it.
4. Close all connections between you and the person completely.
start thinking about things that will make you better and happier than when you are with him/her. put your pains behind you and move on with your life even better than when he/she is with you. Don’t let them start seeing you as if you wouldn’t get over the pains again or you can’t move on without them. Close all connections. Block, unfollow, unfriend, delete and remove. This is called the band-aid effect, you just have to do it all at once, it will come as a blow but you need to get them out of your sight. Don’t do it immediately after the break up, it will confuse you, you will lose clarity of the situation and your feelings. If cutting them off is not possible, if it involves kids, same work place, neighbourhood etc, then try to limit the encounter to its minimum. When you keep on giving them more attention the more pains you feel in your heart so close every channels connecting you with him/her. Don’t hook up with him/her again. With time you will surely get over any pain he/she might have cause you. Well it’s normal to still think sometimes about your past but don’t make it what you do everytime.
5. Don’t rush into another relationship, take sometimes to write about it too.
Don’t just start searching for another relationship immediately you had a breakup. You need to give your self little time to rest and to take note of your mistakes in the past relationship. No one is perfect you will also have some blames and some bad attitude you too need to amend so that it wouldn’t affect your next relationship. After taken note of them all be calm and expect something more better ahead.
Write about it somewhere. If you are someone like me, who doesn’t always voice everything they are going through or even if you are the sharing kind, there are certain things which we don’t feel comfortable in sharing with others, doesn’t mean you have to hold it in and let it consume you. Write it out, whatever it is, anger, curses, sadness, love, uncertainties. You don’t have to string beautiful sentences; well, you could if it makes you feel better, the point is to let it out by writing it somewhere and keep it save for future references.
6. Forgive your past no matter how worst.
If you don’t forgive your past you will never have time to think about the future you are hoping for. Forgive them because you also want forgiveness from God. Never believe anyone as done something worst to hurt you, they have came to hurt you and to build you to be better than your present situation. Everyone you met has a good purpose no matter how bad you think they are. “forgiveness means forgiveness to yourself” to forgive someone means you too need forgiveness from God and from people you too might have hurt willingly or unknowingly. Then try to move on with your own good life no matter the pains they have cause.
7. Associate yourself with like minded people.
Don’t because you lose a relationship and turn yourself to someone who make unnecessary friends with just anyhow persons. Try to associate yourself with people that are best to have you. People who you believe they are in your shoes, kinds of people you are expected to date or make a good friend with, people with mature and like minded, not under age or someone who is not mature enough to be your partner.
You need to surround yourself with positive people, people who make you happy, who add value to your life. Happiness can be contagious. Also, talking about your feelings is important, so speak your heart out to someone you can trust, who is compassionate, who will understand your state and tell them everything you feel. Let them help you, don’t shut them out. People who mean well for you, will make every effort to make you feel better, don’t turn them down. Talk to them, spend time with them. Once you can talk about it without crying a river, know that you’re almost there.
8. Don’t bother thinking about your past, not anymore.
Don’t bother yourself about anything good they are doing for you when they are still with you. The more you keep thinking about your past relationships it’s the more you will be feeling depressed or not feeling like going into a new relationship. When you see your past as something not really important to you anymore, then you can be able to see everything you have ever wanted in your future wife or future husband in others.
9. Focus more on yourself
You now have only one person to deal with, that’s you. Exercise your body, eat good food. Do all those things you have been putting on hold, treat yourself, go on a vacation, learn new things. Make yourself a better, stronger person. Recollect your thoughts on what you want from life. Don’t go from relationship to relationship, organize your life. Pay attention to your health, your appearance, your adventures, your other relationships; enjoy being you; love yourself ,without requiring any validation. The words I personally live by: Get up, dress up, show up and never give up!
10. Pray to God to direct you to your better Half.
Regardless of any religion or the believe you have, any relationship you don’t make God first always end up most times half away. Your intelligent or knowledge is not enough to sustain a good and Godly relationship, you need God to guide your footstep to choose the right one and to keep who is truly meant for you. Put God first in everything and you will be the best in everything you do. The one who make God the first is the one who finds whom is truly meant to be for him/her.