It was exactly 3years after our wedding and we had a great time of being and doing things together. Suddenly she had to go for her second masters in the UK.
I was super excited for my wife because it had always been one of her core goals. I was mentally prepared and knew the cost but what I did not prepare for was the fact that UK embassy would bounce my visa application.
She was granted visa with my son and I was refused same UK visa. So she travelled for 16 months to a first world country while I remained in Nigeria with a 3rd world world view and map reinforced.
We kept in touch daily and it wasn’t really a major issue because my friends did a good job keeping me sane. The problem started when she returned. I noticed that for the next one year we argued over almost everything.
I couldn’t figure out what the problem and I thought the devil had come to attack my marriage until I gave myself to meditation. It dawned on me one morning that the person that returned from the UK was no longer the person that left for UK. She had functioned in a structured environment where everything worked that it had become difficult to accept what she used to accept as a norm when she returned.
The moment I discovered that it occurred me for the first time that we had grown apart in our world view, that the way we saw things was no longer the same. It was not the devil that was at work, I was the one that needed to understand what was happening and grow in my worldview. I had to humble myself to discover the person that returned was God’s way of upgrading my world view in preparation for my first world engagements and I did submit myself to that process.
Often, what is happening in your marriage is as simple as what I just described. Your spouse may have taken courses or grown at work that you no longer see things the same way like you used to. What you then need is to adjust into each other with the person that has grown helping the other person while the one at a disadvantage is also humble to change.
The devil may not be the one messing up your marital bliss because every marital crisis is first a case of ignorance.